Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

A thousand spoilers ahead...

I saw Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker on opening weekend, and I walked out of it beaming through a tear-streaked face. Here is a partial list of the times that I cried:

1. Rey hugs Leia after training
2. Chewie's big, manipulative, fake death
3. Leia calls to Ben and then dies, followed quickly by
4. Rey heals Ben ("I wanted to take your hand. I wanted to take Ben's hand."), followed quickly by
5. Han Solo appears to Ben
6. Ben heals resurrects (grumble grumble) Rey, then smiles (for probably the first time since age 10, because you know he was just the most insufferable brooding teenager), and dies
7. Chewbacca finally gets his medal
8. Rey's entire final scene at Tatooine

Basically I was a live version of that sobbing emoji, with rivers pouring from both eyes.
I'm still reading opinion pieces and watching the cast in talk show interviews and playing my favorite scenes over and over in my head. I think I made out with Kylo Ren in a dream the other night. Might've been Finn or Poe; who can be sure? I liked the movie a lot, is what I'm saying.

I do have a lot of nits to pick and things that I wish they had done differently, so I'm going to get those out of the way first before I talk about all the things that I loved.

A WASTE OF A GOOD ROSE
I wish that Rose had a bigger storyline, or really any storyline at all. And I wish that Finn had romantically pursued either her or Jannah. Both are potentially interesting matches for him, instead of the vague, unrequited crush that he's had on Rey since The Force Awakens.

MORE FORCEY PEOPLE
Speaking of Finn, it looks like he's Force sensitive, right? Can we explore that, please? Especially in light of Janah's account of a huge group of storm troopers feeling it en masse and defecting. That's a cool idea, and I wish the movie included more detail about non-chosen ones using the Force. Remember how Buffy figured out how to share her powers and make all the potentials into Slayers at once? I'll bet Rey and Maz Kanata could work that out.

CHEWIE DIES (jk)
It was a cheap shot to fake us out with Chewbacca's death. I gasped and then literally sobbed, both because I love Chewbacca and because of how heartbreaking it was that Rey accidentally killed him with her own hands. Then a couple minutes later when he turned up alive, I was annoyed. I kept waiting for a reasonable explanation for how he didn't die, other than, "Oh, there was another transport that y'all didn't see and that's the one he was on". That's cheaty storytelling. And not the good kind of cheaty.

NONSTOP LIGHT SPEED
The timeline was crazy. This all happened in 16 hours, right? Because near the beginning of the movie, I believe right after Poe's dizzying round of light speed leap frog, the emperor's transmission said they would destroy a planet the very next day. The pace overall felt rushed: hop to a planet, learn or do a thing, leave 15 minutes later, hop to another planet, etc. etc.

THE REBIRTH OF HELMET
What was with the rebuilding scene of Kylo Ren's mask? It was like a baby delivery: Will the doctors be able to save Helmet? Will Helmet pull through? Get some warm towels ready; Helmet is almost done. Bleh. Move along.

WE CAN DO IT
How did the Emperor create a fleet of ships, each one of which is a death star on speed? I mean the actual logistics of it. Did he have a bunch of factories? An army of machinists? All I saw were a couple of witch doctors keeping all his life support hoses in place. Well, that and a whole coliseum full of hooded Sith dudes. Were they the work crew? Maybe the emperor was like, "You guys, if we hit our quota by the end of the month, we'll have a big party and I'll let you watch while I transfer my life force into the unwilling body of a young woman who will become your new evil empress. So get welding!"

SPACE HORSE IN THE SPACE FORCE
How and when did Finn round up all of those shaggy horses to bring into space? (Side note: horses always look uncomfortable to me when I see them in a trailer on the highway. Surely they didn't like that space ship ride.)

FINN DROPS IN
How did Finn and Jannah hop onto the Millenium Falcon and then basically ride on top of it like a surfboard as it was zooming away from an exploding ship? I'm willing to suspend disbelief about the horses, but space surfing? Come on.

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Now that I've aired some of my grievances, I'll shift to some of the things I loved. It's basically my version of The Chris Farley Show, where I just go  "Remember that part where [fill in the blank]?...That was awesome." Don't say I didn't warn you.

I'll start with the most shallow of my thoughts.

THERE'S A LOT OF PRETTY.
LIKE, A LOT.
The main characters are massively attractive people. I saw The Rise of Skywalker on a giant IMAX screen, and it was a real visual feast. Close up on Finn, close up on Poe. Thank you very much, IMAX screen. Even in the intense fight scene, there were all these close ups of Rey and Ben and their giant, beautiful black eyes. And then at the end, Poe wagging his eyebrow suggestively at Zorri, like, "So, you wanna go celebrate saving the galaxy by making out in the forest?" How she turned that offer down is beyond me. That man is HIGHLY appealing.
Besides the hotness, there was also a lot of cuteness sprinkled throughout: The little guy who worked on C3PO! (Just googled it: he's Babu Frik) That new robot! (Googled: D-O) A glimpse of Porgs! A glimpse of Ewoks!

RETURN OF THE QUEEN
A couple things you should know about me:
1. I get really emotionally invested in fictional characters.
2. I love Carrie Fisher/Princess Leia.
3. I'm a huge crybaby.
So you can imagine that my reaction to the Leia scenes was emotional. I love her, I love that she trained Rey, I love that she and Rey together were able to break through and finally turn Kylo Ren back into Ben Solo, I even love all the back of the head shots that were obviously some stand-in with a good chignon. I wish we could have had more of her, but I appreciate that they did the best with the leftover film scraps they had from the other movies. RIP, Carrie.
And I know a lot of people are complaining about excessive pandering to fans (fandering?) but I totally cried at Chewbacca's sad reaction to learning about Leia's death, and then him finally getting that medal.

RETURN OF THE SCOUNDREL
Like I said, that whole scene where Leia helps Rey defeat Kylo was so good, and while I was still reeling from all that, who showed up but my boyfriend Han Solo? What a delightful surprise. That moment in The Force Awakens when Kylo killed Han was ROUGH, and it helped mend my still-broken heart to see them play out a similar scene with a hopeful ending. Love, forgiveness, family, resolving to be better. It's all so good.

Shall we take a two minute break to enjoy Han and Leia's first kiss? They are both, in the words of Eleanor Shellstrop, legit snacks, and their chemistry is hot like fire. "I'm nice men."

YOU'RE A WIZARD, REY
Maybe it's because I recently started reading the Harry Potter series with my six year old, but I was getting strong HP vibes throughout.
Rey grows up as an orphaned nobody, then it turns out that she's the chosen one with a deep connection to the Big Bad.  She's Harry!
Rey healing that giant snake? She's practically a parselmouth. By the way, I totally thought it would reappear later and show its gratitude by doing something like eating a storm trooper who was about to capture the good guys.
The emperor was nearly killed but came back in a not-quite-human form and then got himself a new body with the help of some creepy henchmen, then tried to kill the one person with a connection to his past, who he truly feared could be his undoing. He's Voldemort!
During the final showdown, when Rey was channeling all the past Jedi, I half expected them to appear as a line of ghosts behind her and promise to be with her to the end, a la the resurrection stone scene in The Deathly Hallows. How great would it have been to see Leia, Luke, Yoda, Mace Windu, Obi Wan Kenobi, etc. as blue ghosts flanking her?  And when she was pushing the emperor's attack back at him I kept thinking of the graveyard duel in The Goblet of Fire, with the twin core wands.

ENDGAME AND GOONIES, TOO
When Poe & Co. were nearly defeated, but then Lando was all, "I'm here, and I brought a thousand friends", did anyone else get a flashback to the "on your left" scene in Endgame when everyone came out of the portals to join the fight?
Also, "I am all the Sith"/ "I am all the Jedi" was totally "I am inevitable"/"I am Iron Man" right?

I even got a whiff of the Goonies: the gang falls into a cave while searching for clues and stumble on the skeleton of the guy that went before them. He has an artifact that lines up with the skyline to point the way. It was Chester Copperpot all over again.

THE REYLO CONNECTION
Kylo and Rey's fight scenes are always excellent, whether they are fighting each other or working together. Remember in the throne room in The Last Jedi, when they teamed up against the red guards? It was so well done. There's a lot of good fighting here in Rise of Skywalker as well.
The fact that these two can not only communicate telepathically now, but also slip into each other's physical space is a cool bit of trickery, with the the ripped off beads and the smashed Vader helmet. Is that a new use of the Force? The coolest moment was when Rey was facing the emperor, and Ben, weaponless, was facing the knights of Ren. There was a close up of her face, followed by his face, then at his tiniest nod, she teleported him the light saber and pulled the other one out for herself. That's some super teamwork.

FORCE HEALING
This might be my favorite thing about the movie. I believe that Force healing is a new concept, at least for the mainstream movies, and I love it. The only thing that Kylo had ever used his incredible power for was to dominate others and gain more power. When Rey healed him, he was shocked, maybe because he had thought he was about to die just a minute before, but maybe it was also because it never occurred to him to use his Force powers to help rather than harm.
Rey is awesome for many reasons, but one is that she is good and kind, even to giant snakes and skittish little droids. She opens up a whole world of possibilities when she shows Ben how to use the power of the Force for the good of others. It was so perfect that he came back and healed Rey after she had done the same for him. I love that he learned about that from her and used it as his final sacrifice.
I've been waiting to watch those two make out forever--they have mad chemistry--so I was glad that they at least kissed once before he disappeared. I wish there had been time for more of it, but it was definitely right that he died. I love to think of him reuniting with Han and Leia and Luke.
One small quibble here: Force healing is one thing, but Force resurrection is a bridge too far. Resurrection is a false promise that Palpatine used to seduce Anakin to the dark side. I wish that Rey hadn't been completely dead yet. Couldn't they have made her right on the verge of death? Mostly dead? As we all know, mostly dead is slightly alive, and that would've been better.

FULL CIRCLE
I loved the final scene on Tatooine. All of it: Rey, in a rare lighthearted moment, sledding down the dunes, then burying the light sabers, seeing Luke and Leia, calling herself Skywalker, and finally the beautiful shot of her in the sunset, with the shape of BB-8 mimicking the shape of the two suns.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m here for the fandering. My 14 year old son and I watched this together, and in order to explain how much that meant to me, let me remind you what else is out there. My kids and their friends tend to watch millionaire twenty-three year old youtubers do videos like "Whoever sits in this pool full of dog food the longest wins a thousand dollars!" On the other hand, Adam Sandler is going the tried and true route to an Oscar nomination in Uncut Gems by wallowing in the seedy underbelly of humanity. Gross. Hard pass. Give me a strong female lead who still feels like a regular, good person, a satisfying redemption arc, some well choreographed fight scenes, a Jedi mind trick, and my favorite princess/general, and I’m here for it.


Did you really read all the way to the end? Here's a picture of Han and Leia on my wedding cake as a reward.

Amazing at making carbs

Many years ago, Matt attended the funeral of his friend's mother. He came home with a recipe card that said "Mary Williams French Bread". They had handed out copies to all attendees as a way to remember her. Isn't that great? I love the idea of a food legacy.

I had always been intimidated by recipes involving yeast, but I gave it a try, and the bread was pretty good.
The next time I made it, I tried to be patient. I let the bread rise longer, and it was fluffier.
The next time I made it, followed all the instructions, including brushing the top with butter while it was still warm. It was softer.
Eventually I figured out that if I coated my hands with some butter while forming the loaves, the process was less sticky and the end result looked better.
One time I decided to increase the recipe by 50% so that it made three loaves instead of two. I've never gone back.

Moral of the story: practice makes better.

***

I use this bread to manipulate people into eating healthier stuff. If it's minestrone soup for dinner, I might hear some complaints from the boys about the number of vegetables involved. But when I remind them of my "one bowl/one slice" policy, they will gobble down some minestrone.

Once I was in charge of dinner for a house full of kids and adults. I put together a build-your-own salad bar, and one of the adult men seemed a little disappointed. "So it's, uh, salad for dinner, then...?" But then I set a plate full of warm, sliced Mary Williams French Bread on the table, and what do you know? That man ate salad for dinner.

***

I hadn't made any homemade bread in a while, and I recently dug out the recipe and got to work. Good timing, too, because last Saturday afternoon my big kids informed me that one of them had been asked to provide the bread for our church sacrament service the next morning. Usually this just means bringing a loaf of sliced white bread from the store. I didn't have time for another grocery run though, so I got up early Sunday morning and made some bread. I've made it enough times that it is routine, mundane even. But when you are making the bread that people are about to eat as a representation of Jesus's body, in the ritual used to re-commit to following his example, you can't help but stop and think about it. I paid attention and did my best.

I actually wonder if it's a good idea to use freshly baked bread for the sacrament, since noticing the scent and the taste might be a distraction for some people. The bread is served to the congregation in bite sized pieces, and my own six year old angel child "accidentally" picked up several pieces from the tray instead of just one. Maybe it's best to stick with Wonder Bread.

***

Once a woman at church was talking about doing service for others. She said that when she had been going through a particularly rough time, there was someone who left her a loaf of bread every Monday. She said that she looked forward to it, not just for the bread itself, but for the spiritual and emotional boost it gave her to have tangible proof that someone loved and supported her. I thought that was just beautiful.

***

For several years, I've heard so much talk about avoiding gluten, avoiding carbohydrates, or at least eating whole grains, that I feel almost guilty serving up plain old, nutrient-deficient white bread. But it brings so much joy to my family. My surly teenager came in the door the other day and saw me slicing bread on the counter and said, "Oooh, homemade bread. Thanks, Mom!" He might have even given me a side hug. Straight out of Leave It to Beaver, right?

I have one kid who is such a picky eater that he will often skip dinner rather than eat what is offered. But he is all in on bread, biscuits, rolls, etc. The other night he polished off the last biscuit from his peach cobbler and said, "Mom, you are amazing at making carbs."

After my mom helped me finish making a big quilt recently, I joked that on her tombstone it should read, "She got stuff done." My ability to be productive and get stuff done will never be tombstone-worthy, but "She was amazing at making carbs" sounds pretty good.

***

Oct 2020

Edited to add: How could I publish this post and not include the bread recipe? I just found my original copy of Mary Williams' french bread (scribbled on, because children destroy everything). Go forth and spread carbs all over the world.

Books read in 2018

I read 30 books in 2018, my highest total yet. A couple of these probably shouldn't count, since they are illustration based and I flipped through them relatively quickly. But I did read over 10,000 pages, nearly double the amount from any other previous year, so maybe that balances out the lightweight books on the list.
2,281 of those pages were from reading books 5-7 of the Harry Potter series aloud with my big kids, which happens to be one of my best experiences of the year. Maybe of all my parenting years.

I had an unofficial goal this year of not reading anything written by white male authors. I ended up reading six white men out of 30 books. (Don't worry, white men, I still like you, but I've read your work almost exclusively my whole life.) As a result of reading The Wedding Date, Between the World and Me, The Hate U Give, and An American Marriage, I got a slightly better understanding of what it's like to be a Black person in America. Give it a try, fellow white people. It's jarring, in a good way.

Lots of Janes this year: Jane of Austin, a Pride & Prejudice retelling that I picked up because of its beautiful cover rather than a love for Jane Austen retreads, and two books from the Lady Janies series, My Lady Jane, which is a retelling of Lady Jane Grey's story, and My Plain Jane, a retelling of Jane Eyre. Got all that? (The best one of the three was My Lady Jane.)

Multi-generational family stories: A Spool of Blue Thread, Before We Were Yours, and The Astonishing Color of After.

Made me cry: Harry Potter 5, 6, and 7, plus A Monster Calls, The One and Only Ivan, and The Deal of a Lifetime. Probably a couple other minor cries in there as well that I can't recall.

Inspiration overload: The Wright Brothers. Wow. They had insatiable curiosity and tried a million things and never, never gave up. After reading this, I wanted to go back in time, move to Ohio, and set my boys up in a workshop and see what they come up with. Then I realized that I could probably just set up a workshop for them here and avoid the hassle of the time travel and the Ohio winters.

Did you ever notice that goodreads will plot your books on a graph, arranged by publication date? I started the year with Agatha Christie (1926) and ended the year with Charles Dickens (1843), and filled the middle with nothing written earlier than 2003. I think in 2019 I need to read some Shakespeare, or better yet, Plato, to throw my graph way off.