Do your kids like to read the works of Dav Pilkey? He's the author of the Captain Underpants series, among many others. I have a serious love/hate with that guy. I'd say a solid 40-50% of what my big boys read right now is his work, so hooray for getting kids to read! However, his subject matter is usually the lowest common denominator of grade school toilet humor, and I find his books so stupid and irritating. We are currently enjoying a gem from the Super Diaper Baby collection in which an evil liquid villain named Rip Van Tinkle sends a drop of pee down each chimney in order to steal all the toilets in town. That's right, it's a sentient puddle of urine in a parody of How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Mason was given an assignment to do a book report that included a pumpkin decorated as a main character. He chose one of Pilkey's Dumb Bunnies books, and yes, we did know about it three weeks ago, and yes, it was due this morning, and yes, we did the whole thing last night. I'm so glad that I can pass along my rich legacy of procrastination to my children. At 9:00 P.M., he practiced the oral presentation one more time, looked at the completed pumpkin, and beamed with pride.
Mason: Wow, I didn't think I could do the whole book report in one night.
Sarah: Just don't mention that part to your teacher.
I had never heard of a pumpkin book report before, so when we first got the assignment, I went to Pinterest to get some ideas. As we were driving to school this morning, we talked about how great his report was going to be.
Mason: Did you pin it?
Mason: Did you pin it? On Pinterest. You have an account, right? You should put it on there.
Sheesh. Even my eight-year-old knows that nothing is real unless it's splashed all over social media.